How do You cope?

As I become frozen in body…so, my mind turns inward and inside out.
Experimenting with boundaries, and pushing limits has always been my way. Accepting limits is an internal war ever present. And, at times, I wonder why I fight it so?
Is it habit? Stubbornness for the sake of..?
Or, is there a way to overcome?
I am constantly wondering if I just let go, and say to myself “Nene, this is. That’s all, and you gotta stop. Good, bad, hurting, sick, giddey, and loopy, empath, and healer…This is now, and fighting will bring you down. Expended energy you need to be…”
Then, ego steps up and rears it’s selfish head. “Are you serious!? Have you not learned that it is never enough? You MUST be doing something in order to succeed! You give up, or stop and you you are nothing, and shame on you! Get off your ass and stop complaining. Lazy, shiftless… And, none of this boo-hooing because your sick. Get over it!”

Oh, yes. Ego will kick your ass every time if you are not aware.

So, what do you do to over come that loud voice? That insidiously slippery character that will set you up to fall?
While I know the logic behind this. It gets me nonetheless…

Throw in the random visitors of the unseen, and going off on an unknown ride does not help, lol.

Yeah… I’m interested in what others do. How they handle, or cope with it all…

Light on us All.

My Art So Far…

Collection of digital artwork I have so far…

All excellent resource credit go to the people whom offer the brushes and stock images they have to offer…You can find them at DeviantART.

-Heir To Revolution-

Many the injustices
with familiar hearts
Here, protective bosom
now, embracement torn away
Withdrew from vulnerability
to flail blindly before
Those eyes, deep prisons guarded;
now receiving captives broken
Limited entry, invitation defined
in borders, and locked doors
The key long forgotten
second habitation long etched
From ever running streams
divided reason by immigrating instinct
Time and time again
to repeat this revolution
And witness future war inherited,
standing outside of the new prison created
Peer into unkind reflections
of mirrors to beginning
Seek out the forgotten key
of history in repetition
Put end internal war,
where reason dis-remembered
Lies hidden in ruins of wars past,
to unlock the dungeon of hearts
And watch unburdened,
the flight of libertine spirits
Soar from then to hereafter

Still Pictures

Moving through rooms

visiting each time, and time

Here, she rises above

to look upon herself, deadened

lying there blank-eyed, bruised

Feeling nothing

staring into void, blackness

hands, more…seek her bodies secrets

Now, moving on…

locked door, here

Keyhole shines out, blinding

purity pain

Next, step into outside

sun shining on wispy long brown hair

bicycle glinting, ride away to anywhere

fever pitch search in her eyes

Back inside, onward

slumbering, yet alert

waken to lessened silence

body stiff, fear of the man behind her

she goes away…

Turn right, walk in

taste of juniper rancid

morning glass begins the day

burning all the way down

Turn left, look

smell of burning flesh down this hallway

each door opens to mutilation, blood…

no pain, lovely pain

Moving on, then up

she travels, travels.

Patience Danced

Patience wept

When she was discarded for greed

No one remembered her want or her need

Patience smiled

Forgiving again

She will tolerate more from now until then

Patience knew

Inside all you there

She felt all the anger, the pain and despair

Patience danced

Waiting time out of time

Her offering more than receiving divine

Green vs Aged

When bending through force

green becomes a bow

aged breaks

yet, splinters far

and deeply

Breakage has action

until the aftermath

and green dries…

Sap slows, and becomes amber

aged becomes stone

Four In One

Waken to others
fighting for time
This one slips in
and says,”better watch out”

patience

That one looks out
and says,”you don’t deserve a damned thing”

patience

Another voices her concerns
and says,”told ya so, stupid”

patience

A fourth comes out
and says,”No one will stay with you”

patience

Next, the loudest
and says,”I am Free. I am loved.
I am all of you…”

patience

These sisters are called Me, yet are of each their own
Fear, Shame, Judge, and Liar
They know not where they belong and must be dealt with often…

patience

The final Me is Truth

The Scars

On one arm lines
short, long
some hesitant
The other a circle
like a carved ringworm
pump, fat, and staring

But, what of those unseen?
those invisible badges
not honorary, but truth?
What name belongs among these
the tarnished, rust pitted
the new and shiny…

Do we accept them with grace?
pin them onto flesh lapels?
like glamorous awards?

Or,

Can we wake to the latest additions,
no rhyme, reason, or excuses
no words to convey the givers’ wishes?

what?
or, arrange them all
categorically owned
Yours and mine
the blank and the blatant
And…

I thank you
with the rake of violence
the kiss of new days
fresh bleeding rawness
reminders lines
enforcers burns

The takers’ torturous dreams
The liars’ seductions

All these scars
in the Now
from once ago
I carry as I am…

©2007 Taboon1

Tripping Life…

There once was a woman who lived long and long. Up ’til now, she’d believed in all the dreams we are taught to believe from the beginning - love, marriage, children… the usual statistic mumbo-jumbo.

Then, one day she awoke. The air around her changed; crisp, clear, new. And, this was indeed an awakening.
Since that moment, life has gone on a journey of heartbreak, tragedy, and a renewal.

At present, she is frozen. Yet, still believes in change. She is hidden. Yet, been sen here and there among the wandering random ideas, sights, and intuitions…

Life is like a carnival fun house. Frightening, thrilling, and not to be taken too seriously all the time (and, this is something she is learning).

Life is a Freak Show.

This Loner…

This loner thinks… thinks, and does it some more. Working poem…
====================Some could say she’s a thinkers’ whore
while hidden within what feels safest for her
she sinks ever deeper
lives under the floor
This shielded hearts mind she ventures outside
her mental land mine
this sensitive’s space, a bubble, protection
from wandering souls’ spiritual dissection
She opens herself
behind fingers spayed wide
horrified, trembling, shivering inside
one step, two steps halting just now
will she see what to do?
will she even know how?

Nene