Statistics of Fading Parents

I remember a time when things were simpler…
Perhaps remembering it is what makes thing unbearable at times.

I just do not understand how some parents can be cruel, and forget what love means. Forget their children, or just put them out of mind when it suits them.
It doesn’t matter how old the child is. Something like that affects the mind and soul deep down, and I’m not sure it’s repairable. It may scar over time, but the wound is always there… A constantly random reminder of your worth to the blood running in your veins. The DNA ties that you wish you could just dig out.
I’ve come to a point where I don’t care, or want to know where I came from anymore. And, I hope my own children get here sooner than I did in regards to their father.
There’s a reason laws are in place for child support. And, to think a parent would rather live as if he/she never had kids is appalling to me.
The sheer statistics of how many of these warts on society has got to tell people something.

More and more, I feel people should get a license to bare children…

This Autumn so far

  The smell of autumn in the air lately. There’s nothing like it; pencil erasers, and the wood shavings from sharpeners, paper… woodsmoke from stoves and fireplaces. And, that little cold snap of clear air in the mornings.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the EVPs we got about a year and a half ago from the old mill that was abandoned, but is now almost finished being renovated into an odd pairing of new parking garage, and offices that will still have the brick shell of the mill. The parking garage stands out like a sore thumb-concrete and glass… I cannot get used to how off and odd the two stuck together look now.
Anyway, I know the place is haunted given the evps…we got. And, I wonder if some things might happen in th garage, and offices. Will car alarms go off more, or will people assume vandals (and, we DO have some idiots in town) might be causing mishaps…maybe electrical problems… Will people in the offices experience the call of that boy? See him?
I find it sad, and it bothers me that he’s still there.
What does he think has happened?

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from January…

working…

the saws blade vibrates

in the marrow

in the mud

cellular blood sips there

there, in the deep

there, in the dark

there, where no one goes

safe in nightmares of instinct

hide the blades

from the cut

based and free-based

wandering the channels there

there, in the deep

there, in the dark

there, where no one goes

safe in nightmares of instinct

splinters to dust fly

beasts after bone

the origins shudder

quivering the beat there

there, from the deep

here, from the dark

there, where no one goes

safe in nightmares of instinct

FISA Bill and All humanity. Wake UP!

While we are in the midst of coas, and bullshit, we are also being led in so many directions by interest driven media that we are not catching the actual words used by our president.
With all of the news we see leading us away from his words (or, should I say, jumbled talk around and threats) we are missing the truth.
These are the facts:
we are inundated with steroid use news of sports players… do I care? No. Not in the scheme of reality, no I don’t.
We are watching the government stock holders and interest leaders sell dangerous drugs on TV… the CDC had recently published the very real dangers and warnings of many of these drugs, leading the suicidal, violent behavior (shootings? hmmm…) get the drift?
we are missing the point of the peoples of this country in dire need of real help.
We are funding a military that is recruiting our children. we are funding a military that leaves these people to flail without help once giving themselves to the belief that they are doing the right thing…

All the while, our president is threatening us if he does not get his way in tapping, and listening in on all of our communications.
How many years have they been listening in?
Have they once actually heard a plot to take out our country through and email, or instant messege (should they be so stupid)? It has been admitted they have not caught the “so called” terrorists via this measure. Nor, have they the right to take our rights away!

So, really? Are we going to die if the president does not get his way?
NO.

How long have we been humans on this earth. And, history is there for a reason.

It’s way past time for people to get out of thier comfort zones and think for themselves.
Enough is very much enough.

Here’s a link to Keith Olbermann’s article and video.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/021508A.shtml

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How do You cope?

As I become frozen in body…so, my mind turns inward and inside out.
Experimenting with boundaries, and pushing limits has always been my way. Accepting limits is an internal war ever present. And, at times, I wonder why I fight it so?
Is it habit? Stubbornness for the sake of..?
Or, is there a way to overcome?
I am constantly wondering if I just let go, and say to myself “Nene, this is. That’s all, and you gotta stop. Good, bad, hurting, sick, giddy, and loopy, empath, and healer…This is now, and fighting will bring you down. Expended energy you need to be…”
Then, ego steps up and rears it’s selfish head. “Are you serious!? Have you not learned that it is never enough? You MUST be doing something in order to succeed! You give up, or stop and you you are nothing, and shame on you! Get off your ass and stop complaining. Lazy, shiftless… And, none of this boo-hooing because your sick. Get over it!”

Oh, yes. Ego will kick your ass every time if you are not aware.

So, what do you do to over come that loud voice? That insidiously slippery character that will set you up to fall?
While I know the logic behind this. It gets me nonetheless…

Throw in the random visitors of the unseen, and going off on an unknown ride does not help, lol.

Yeah… I’m interested in what others do. How they handle, or cope with it all…

Light on us All.

As I become frozen in body…so, my mind turns inward and inside out.
Experimenting with boundaries, and pushing limits has always been my way. Accepting limits is an internal war ever present. And, at times, I wonder why I fight it so?
Is it habit? Stubbornness for the sake of..?
Or, is there a way to overcome?
I am constantly wondering if I just let go, and say to myself “Nene, this is. That’s all, and you gotta stop. Good, bad, hurting, sick, giddey, and loopy, empath, and healer…This is now, and fighting will bring you down. Expended energy you need to be…”
Then, ego steps up and rears it’s selfish head. “Are you serious!? Have you not learned that it is never enough? You MUST be doing something in order to succeed! You give up, or stop and you you are nothing, and shame on you! Get off your ass and stop complaining. Lazy, shiftless… And, none of this boo-hooing because your sick. Get over it!”

Oh, yes. Ego will kick your ass every time if you are not aware.

So, what do you do to over come that loud voice? That insidiously slippery character that will set you up to fall?
While I know the logic behind this. It gets me nonetheless…

Throw in the random visitors of the unseen, and going off on an unknown ride does not help, lol.

Yeah… I’m interested in what others do. How they handle, or cope with it all…

Light on us All.

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We Three…

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My Art So Far…

Collection of digital artwork I have so far…

All excellent resource credit go to the people whom offer the brushes and stock images they have to offer…You can find them at DeviantART.

-Heir To Revolution-

Many the injustices
with familiar hearts
Here, protective bosom
now, embracement torn away
Withdrew from vulnerability
to flail blindly before
Those eyes, deep prisons guarded;
now receiving captives broken
Limited entry, invitation defined
in borders, and locked doors
The key long forgotten
second habitation long etched
From ever running streams
divided reason by immigrating instinct
Time and time again
to repeat this revolution
And witness future war inherited,
standing outside of the new prison created
Peer into unkind reflections
of mirrors to beginning
Seek out the forgotten key
of history in repetition
Put end internal war,
where reason dis-remembered
Lies hidden in ruins of wars past,
to unlock the dungeon of hearts
And watch unburdened,
the flight of libertine spirits
Soar from then to hereafter

Still Pictures

Moving through rooms

visiting each time, and time

Here, she rises above

to look upon herself, deadened

lying there blank-eyed, bruised

Feeling nothing

staring into void, blackness

hands, more…seek her bodies secrets

Now, moving on…

locked door, here

Keyhole shines out, blinding

purity pain

Next, step into outside

sun shining on wispy long brown hair

bicycle glinting, ride away to anywhere

fever pitch search in her eyes

Back inside, onward

slumbering, yet alert

waken to lessened silence

body stiff, fear of the man behind her

she goes away…

Turn right, walk in

taste of juniper rancid

morning glass begins the day

burning all the way down

Turn left, look

smell of burning flesh down this hallway

each door opens to mutilation, blood…

no pain, lovely pain

Moving on, then up

she travels, travels.