As I become frozen in body…so, my mind turns inward and inside out.
Experimenting with boundaries, and pushing limits has always been my way. Accepting limits is an internal war ever present. And, at times, I wonder why I fight it so?
Is it habit? Stubbornness for the sake of..?
Or, is there a way to overcome?
I am constantly wondering if I just let go, and say to myself “Nene, this is. That’s all, and you gotta stop. Good, bad, hurting, sick, giddy, and loopy, empath, and healer…This is now, and fighting will bring you down. Expended energy you need to be…”
Then, ego steps up and rears it’s selfish head. “Are you serious!? Have you not learned that it is never enough? You MUST be doing something in order to succeed! You give up, or stop and you you are nothing, and shame on you! Get off your ass and stop complaining. Lazy, shiftless… And, none of this boo-hooing because your sick. Get over it!”
Oh, yes. Ego will kick your ass every time if you are not aware.
So, what do you do to over come that loud voice? That insidiously slippery character that will set you up to fall?
While I know the logic behind this. It gets me nonetheless…
Throw in the random visitors of the unseen, and going off on an unknown ride does not help, lol.
Yeah… I’m interested in what others do. How they handle, or cope with it all…
Light on us All.
Pouring Taboon 
I really love the way this is written. It just sort of puts an exclamation mark on my own feelings. It is sort of an inner dialog that I also hear. I am still in the process of proper diagnosis but have RA and pancreatitis. I have a big metal pump in my abdomen that I’ve become friends with. I go between joy and agony – the ultimate manic depressive now as a result of all of this. I’m going to add your site to my blogroll/links. Maybe you can come and visit my site since I write all about how I cope. sasha.
Hello,
It’s been a long time here, huh? Sorry… I probably lost the email when I was offline for so long. My inbox gets crammed when I am not on…the reminder thatI had a comment got lost?
Anyway, I will go see.
I’ve learned a lot about balancing… although, hard days are just “copers”
Thank you.
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Bosun.
Yes, sorry. I bounce a bit all over when ideas all come, ya know? As long as you get something somewhere it’s a good thing? lol
Thank you. =)